Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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