People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My feet surprised me
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