Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?

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(253): View more from Washington

don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.

Fav 15 981 3206
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(601): View more from Mississippi

He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

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(909): View more from California

Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?

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(408): View more from California

We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch

Fav 10 3045 1569
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(614): View more from Ohio

Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.

Fav 6 1139 628
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.

Fav 4 558 279
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(815): View more from Illinois

I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...

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