i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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