She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
