It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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