Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
