no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
