I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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