Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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