i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
