There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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