OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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