remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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