I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
