so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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