After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
