I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
