So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
