I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
