Already got asked if we're dating
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
