ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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