Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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