dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
