Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
