My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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