i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How does one acquire holy water?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
