I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
accomplished twins. life is a go
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
