whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
