I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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