my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
thus making me awesome and them whores
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
