So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My bed smells like the plague
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
