Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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