508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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