guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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