dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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