This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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