We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize