She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize