I hate your face
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
