we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
