i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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