Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
