Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize