I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Randomize
