Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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