Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
