If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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