Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
