I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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