What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Enjoy the penises
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize