If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
