so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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