***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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