If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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