the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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