how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
