I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
